I know you just wanna have fun but that doesn’t mean you have to forget bout me ..

Just forget everything you have wit me . 

You push me to the point where I wanna call quits but at the same time I can’t . I can’t stand the heart break & I can’t stand you being wit someone else . I don’t know what will happen next & I don’t know what will happen to us . You don’t know how hurt I was today . How confused , lost , & useless I felt . I don’t know how long this is going to keep going . I don’t know how long we’re gon keep living in the past . I don’t know what to do wit our relationship . You make me feel like I don’t do anything right yet you say I’m your everything . I don’t feel like your everything . I feel like I failed our relationship . It’s my fault , I know it is . I just wish I knew what to do </3

i git so insecure wen you brag bout other girls . Especially in front of me . i git so jealous cos you call me this & that but wen it comes to other bitches , its like they’re perfect for you . im sorry i dont have the perfect body that satisfies you . im sorry im not so cute , skinny , & fine as other bitches . im sorry im such a lazy ass that eats all day . But that doesnt mean you have to put me down like that . its funny cos you dont realize what you say actually hurts me . i dont tell you how i feel cos i know you’ll flip it on me & say other shit . You may be joking sometimes , but i cant take it as a joke wen i know its true . Wen you check out other bitches , its like im not even there so i just keep walking , minding my business . Yeah , ill admit i check out other nigga . But do i brag bout them to you ? Do i tell you how fine they look ? Do i tell you if id beat those ? i check out other niggas , ok thats cool . But i compliment you in so many ways . i’d never bring you down on your looks cos i know how it feels . im sorry i cant look as great as other bitches >.< UGH ..

i git mad so easily now cos you know how to push my buttons . im trying to understand & i learn but if its like a different situation , i wouldnt know what to do . All i wanted you to do was tell me straight up if anything happened at the party . You did babe & i believed you . Someone may say this & that . i dont believe them but i git scared & doubt myself so i just tried to make it clear wit you . i was happy for awhile until you went off on me bout something else . i just wanna let you know i didnt lie to you . i never took out the ‘Bestfriend’ thing . its been on there since the first time i put it . its not really a big deal to me cos i forgot bout it . i never go to my blog & read everything so its just there . Just to let you know , i dont leave cos i dont love you or i dont wanna talk to you . i leave cos i know you need the space . i’d like to stay & talk to you but it gits even worse & thats not how i want us to go . if i know you need the space , ill give it to you . Just tell me cos sometimes i dont know if youre going off on me cos of me or youre going off on me cos someone else pissed you off . if its me , then ill leave you alone . if its someone else then let me know . im here for a reason babe . You wont have to go thru anything alone . im here for you & thats all i want you to know .

BY THE WAY , IF ANY RATCHET BITCH IS ON YA JOCK OR ALL UP ON YOU , YOUS BETTA TELL THAT BITCH WASSUUP & ILL SHOW HER UP . ‘NUFF SAID .

Too many things running thru my head . i cant keep up . i want it to go away . i dont wanna be assuming things & start to make up sceneries in my head that would just make it worse :/

The alcohol only talks , not you . Thanks babe .

Since you want me to stay up wit you , ill do what you told me to do to stay up >.< Write you a lil sum’ sum’ . All i can say right now is that youre drunk ;P Youre lucky youre heavy weight . Right now youre talking bout naming our son Foxdale o_o UHH , NO aha . You trippin’ . But anyways , i figured the only way i could be happy wit you is to not let anyone git in between us . i vent to certain people bout you . You prolly do the same . But what i shouldnt be doing is looking only at my point of view . i tell them the situation but i never tend to tell them your point of view . So its my fault some people dont want to see me wit you cos i cry a lot bout all of our little arguments . im emotional wen it comes to arguing wit you & im sorry you have to deal wit it D;

At the end of the day , i think bout everything we’ve been thru & im happy that something brought us back together . im trying my best to understand why you act the way you do sometimes & i finally understand . i git annoying cos i trip too much & i sometimes cant follow thru wit my words . Sorry for my flaws babe & im really glad youre sticking wit me thru it all . i fucked up twice , BIG TIME . & Look at you , youre still here , loving me wit all your heart . i never met any guy that would’ve put up wit alla my crap . But then theres you . i was stupid back then . ill admit it , i was a straight up careless , dumb , selfish bitch . i know i hurt you BAD , to the point where you cant handle it anymore . i dont want you to feel that way ever again . The one guy that gave me his all , gave me his love , gave me another family , gave me the best feelings in the world & etc .

its true tho , wen we text , there always comes a point where we have a little argument . Wen we see each other & we’re together , EVERYTHING feels right . i feel like im home wen im wit you . Especially wit your family . Wen im home wit you & your family , im the happiest girl ever . Just being able to see you , play wit you , tease you ,  cuddle wit you & sleep wit you , i cant ask for anything better . i see the babies as my own little brothers . i take your mom as my own mother . Youre right , she likes it wen i call her mommie (; But Papa , im still kinna scared of Papa haha . Since freshmen year too & im still scared of him aha .

Well since youre drunk , i dont think you’d wanna be reading this cos its “too long” haha . So ima cut it right here . I love you babe , ALWAYZ&FOREVER on mine . Oh one more thing , stop bringing up the passed niggas ive been wit . i know youre just messin’ around but it gits on my nerves >.< Youre not replying to me , so i dont know if you knocked out or not . if you did , Goodnight dont let the bed bugs bite i love you muchos muuaahh , nighty night baby .

PS: You better write back like you said you said you were >:D KBYE !

Remember how i was so happy to have you ? Yeah , i want that feeling back . i dont want any of these thoughts running thru my head all day , i dont want to doubt us , i dont wanna feel like this . i just wanna have that “Yay i finally have you” feeling . i keep telling people that i have second thoughts but thats cos im here & youre there . Youre doing your thing & im doing mine . i cant do this not-seeing-each-other thing any longer . i miss you too much & i just wanna be wit you 24/7 . i wanna be able to show you off & let niggas & bitches know im yours & youre mine . Thats why i envy so many people that git to see you every day . Distance is such a bitch to us D;